Posts tagged personal

‘I couldn’t stop smiling’

Hey ya’ll been out of communicado, mainly b/c of convienence, lack therof [trying to fix my laptop] and also … not sure how personal I want to get on here, because I never know who’s reading! It’s not that I have things to hide about my life, but more that I worry about hurting someone’s feelings unknowingly … 

So anyway, want to share this experience I had a few weeks ago when I attending a Krishna Das devotional singing ‘concert’ w my friend Angera from work … this excerpt is from a note I wrote to an old friend …

I’m having experiences of a similar ‘divine grace’ through music recently … last night I attended a devotional singing ‘concert’ – called kirtan – with Krishna Das [google him if you don’t know]. I’m going to give you a little bit of background of where I am at in my life at this moment: I ended a six-month long-distance relationship about six weeks ago; met someone new and interesting via internet site [veggiedate] who inspires me in many ways to better myself; around the same time as meeting this person [nay, as a result of meeting this person!], I starting going to 12-step meetings for love/sex addiction to address my cyclical, destructive patterns in regard to relationships [if you’re not sure what that means, think AA, but the drug is love/relationships/sex instead of alcohol]; out of this I decided my top priorities are 1)building a positive relationship to self and 2) building a relationship with a Higher Power; I started meditating, working out consistently etc. So that’s the set up….
Two days ago, while meditating, I realized that I never trusted myself that I could have a direct experience of GOD – always looked for mediation, or turned away; I decided that I would have a direct experience of GOD, that is my goal.

So, Last night I attended this kirtan. It’s a call and response. all the words are in Hindu, different names for GOD – hare krishna hare krishna krishna krishna hare hare, om nama shivaya etc. But the point is that it is a meditation; as and english-speaker, there is not much ‘meaning’ attached to these words. So you sing them over and over and over and over with a hundred other people and the experience is love, bliss, happiness from GOD and from WITHIN.

I couldn’t stop smiling.

I have done this chanting before, but I really ‘got’ it at this moment in that temple with the vibrations of GOD’s VOICE resonating through these human vocal chords.

OM

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Also would like to share this image. It’s from a shoot I did yesterday and I think it’s fabulous. Makes me feel like a flower  😀 

Fairy Face

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